the thunderer is dead
a man is left in his stead
dark starter sentences
1 week ago with 17,714 notes — via riseofvalkyrja, © askklapollo

send in a ❝❞ …

…and my muse will tell you one of the following after a random number generation.



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1 week ago with 2,700 notes — via malekithianus, © xpondd

I highly recommend you follow the person I reblogged this from.
1 week ago with 196,915 notes — via iamrockandwheat, © naragun

SUPER TEXT LIST! (Texts From Last Night Inspired)


  • [text] Are you lost?
  • [text] NO! That was a typo
  • [text] Did you buy it?
  • [text] I think I’m a mermaid
  • [text] I know it’s 3am, but come over and cook for me. 
  • [text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead
  • [text] Need to bury a body, it’s urgent.
  • [text] Are you sure there’s no monsters?
  • [text] It was an accident.
  • [text] lol fuk da police
  • [text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;)
  • [text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!
  • [text] Please tell me you’re free today! I’ve got some big news today.
  • [text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?
  • [text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?
  • [text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?
  • [text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
  • [text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead… I just rolled off and tapped out. 
  • [text] Like alphabetically, I’d say a t?
  • [text] I’m sorry if throwing up in the back of your dad’s car ruined our friendship :(
  • [text] there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. don’t judge me.
  • [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.
  • [text] Do you know where I am?
  • [text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!
  • [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. I’ve never been so broken.
  • [text] Is “head down ass up” an appropriate way to say good morning?
  • [text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact I’m not sure it’s legal to send that sort of picture?
  • [text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.
  • [text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension
  • [text] No no don’t leave me, who’s going to walk me home
  • [text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.
  • [text] My dick just got serenaded.
  • [text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.
  • [text] I’ve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now they’re getting into it and it’s a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates
  • [text] The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle
  • [text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???
  • [text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!
  • [text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you
  • [text] I’m in A&E but I don’t really know why
  • [text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half
  • [text] I think I’m officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said it’s not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasn’t trimming his hairs with my mouth?!
  • [text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.
  • [text] He’s decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.
  • [text] Don’t talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!
  • [text] I promise I’ll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox
  • [text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Don’t test me.
  • [text] I think I got married last night?
  • [text] I think I got married on impulse last night… and after looking a second time, I don’t think i’ve made any mistakes.
  • [text] My mouth tastes like poor choices
  • [text] I didn’t let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because… it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?
  • [text] If I say it was accidental you’ll just say I’m lying
  • [text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere
  • [text] You’re my hero
  • [text] You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you
  • [text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?
  • [text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?
  • [text] It’s not a good night if I don’t end up crying into your mother’s lap.
  • [text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, he’ll marry me and you’ll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.
  • [text] I’m may be allergic to nuts, but not his.
  • [text] She high fived me out of pity
  • [text] You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
  • [text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.
  • [text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hair…
  • [text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked
  • [text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room
  • [text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?
  • [text] It may or may not have been your sister…
  • [text] It may or may not have been your brother…
  • [text] If you’re not coming over with food, don’t come over at all
  • [text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex again…
  • [text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?
  • [text] Let’s never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
  • [text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.
  • [text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.
  • [text] If you don’t fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we’re alone in your room, I’m returning you to the boyfriend store
  • [text] I accidentally sexted your mum, I’m sorry xox
  • [text] There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
  • [text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”
  • [text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter.
  • [text]  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a “let’s fuck” way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of “let me wash your hair” way.
1 week ago with 16,793 notes — via itsnotflirting, © frommemetoyou

Too tired to do anything. Going to bed.

Captain America was great though. A++, highly recommend. 

1 week ago with 1 note

I won’t be around tonight. I have to go get the rest of my furniture, and we’ll be staying the night where there’s no internet. >:

1 week ago
#droppedthehammer #but i am back #for reals

I think my heart just broke. Ingrid’s blog was deactivated. ;;

1 week ago with 1 note
#yourlittleblondegoddess #where did you goooooooooo

1 week ago with 1 note
#y'all haven't seen my ugly mug in a while #sorry to do that to you again #bushyhairforlife #mun stuff

Give me a Series & I’ll tell you…

❤ Favorite Male:
❤ Favorite Female:
Favorite Pairing:
❤ Least Favorite Character:
❤ Who’s most like me:
❤ Most attractive:
❤ Three more characters that I like:

1 week ago with 75,546 notes — via arielthelionhearted, © askboxmemes


✿: my muse giving yours flowers.

Sigyn had a lot of patience, it was known, and her hands were skilled and constant. There’s nothing she couldn’t do with enough time. She wouldn’t do it properly the first time, maybe neither the second. But she would succeed. She would be victorious.

Brynja leaned against her mother’s arm as the lady kept tying the flowers between them. On the head of the little princess there was already a crown made with small daisies and some blueish flowers that only grew close to the wild roses.

Sigyn looked at her daughter and kissed her temple softly as the little girl smiled wider and leaned more against her arm. She insisted to make crowns for the whole family. And since she had nothing better to do, she did one for herself -already wearing it-. Brynja, meanwhile, observed, fascinated the power her mother’s hands had to built and create something beautiful. She saw her sewing, and drawing. She was so subtle, so constant…

Once it was finished, she laced both sides of the crown with a thin thread. “Done, baby” She left the flowered crown on her little hands. “I’ll give this one to daddy” she confessed, standing up, with a lot of care. She only hoped that she would have a better luck than what she had with Gunnar -who strongly refused to wear such thing-.

"Be careful, and try to not bother anyone, will you?" Sigyn asked, not having much more time before Brynja started to run.

She knew well where to find her father. He was almost doing the same, and it was fighting… Or pretending that he fights. The training fields weren’t so far from the royal gardens and Brynja was a fast runner -she had to since she refushed to ride a horse or even stay close to one of them-.

She slipped between Fandral and Volstagg, ignoring the warnings of both warriors of how dangerous it was for a child to be there.

She even escaped from the Lady Sif’s grip, and only slowed down when she found her father, sitting on a bench. She smiled, widely and quickly kneeled on the bench, next to him. “Mummy and I did this for you, daddy” she said, cheerfully as she placed the flower crown on his head. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek a lot of times. 

Minutes later, Sigyn appeared, unable to not worry if her daughter arrived to her destiny safe and sound. 

1 week ago with 2 notes — via victorious-asynja
#drabble #victoriousasynja